One roast potato left in the dish. Who has the strongest claim to it? Rank them.

They've been in that kitchen since half ten and their hair smells of goose fat. Surely that earns you a potato?

They've said no twice while staring straight at it. Someone needs to put them out of their misery.

Six foot two, appetite of a small horse, and no shame whatsoever. Claims it's basically medical.

There's a mountain of greasy tins waiting by the sink and they've volunteered. A potato is the least we can do.

He won't ask. He'll just glance at the dish, then at you, then back at the dish. Devastating.