Which British middle-class status symbol is the most insufferable to brag about?

Nothing says 'we made it' like a cast-iron heat sink that costs more than a small car and dictates your entire kitchen layout. Bonus points if you mention it within five minutes of meeting someone.

Casually leaving the bag for life on the kitchen counter so guests can see the green logo. Tesco would have done, but it wouldn't have said the same thing about you.

Owning a cottage that sits empty 10 months a year while locals can't afford rent — but don't worry, you tell everyone you're 'supporting the community'.

Sneaking the school name into conversation at every opportunity, then complaining about the fees as if anyone forced you to pay them.

A whole drawer of cheerful prints designed to signal you're fun but also definitely middle-class. Worn exclusively to farmers' markets and parents' evenings.