Which naff song do you secretly love but would never admit down the pub?

You groan when it comes on in the supermarket, then hum it all the way to the car park. Somehow you know every word.

The arm moves live in your body forever, like riding a bike. One wedding disco and you're front and centre.

Three drinks in and you're belting it at the ceiling with your eyes shut. Nobody has ever sung it quietly.

Your mum had the cassette and played it while doing the ironing. You'd still get a lump in your throat now.

Officially one of the worst records ever made, yet it empties nobody's dancefloor. Even the grumpy uncle joins in.