🩺 Health🥇 Toplijst🗳 15 votes
Which overpriced 'healthy' café order do you secretly think is a total swindle?
Britain's high streets are drowning in wellness-washed menu items with eye-watering price tags. Rank these suspiciously virtuous purchases from 'utter con' to 'grudgingly worth it'.
Put the items in your preferred order.
A
The £7 Green Juice
A thimble of celery, kale and ginger that tastes like a compost heap and vanishes in three sips. Somehow still marketed as 'a wellness investment'.
B
Matcha Oat Latte
The drink that turned every Shoreditch freelancer into an evangelist. Costs more than a pint and stains your teeth like a bad fake tan.
C
The Protein Ball
Three dates, a cashew and a whisper of cacao, wrapped in compostable packaging and priced like a Fabergé egg. Gone in one bite.
D
Sourdough Avocado Toast
Two slices of bread, half a mashed avo and some chilli flakes. The dish that launched a thousand thinkpieces about millennial finances.
E
The Acai Bowl
Frozen purple mush topped with granola, banana and enough honey to power a bee farm. Basically pudding for breakfast, but somehow £11.
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