Which so-called 'healthy' British lunch is actually a nutritional con? Rank the biggest offenders.

Marketed as clean eating heaven, but once the honey mustard hits it's flirting with the calorie count of a burger. You're paying £8.50 to feel smug.

Yes, it's fruit — blended into oblivion so your body treats it like liquid pudding. The little face on the bottle is laughing at you.

Three bites of chicken and an egg for £4 isn't a meal, it's a hostage negotiation. The protein claims barely justify the packaging.

Oats and honey coated in more sugar than a jam doughnut, topped with 'low-fat' yoghurt that's basically pudding. Breakfast's biggest liar.

The word 'skinny' is doing Olympic-level heavy lifting here. Half the flavour, all the regret, and you're still hungry by 3pm.