Which sport is the absolute worst to watch on television — rank them from painful to unbearable?

Four days of watching millionaires stroll across manicured lawns while commentators hush their voices like someone's having a nap. If you want this level of tension, watch paint dry — at least the colour changes.

Arrows thrown at a board in a smoky arena while the crowd chants along to Walk of Life. Thrilling for about 45 seconds, then suddenly it's two hours later and you've lost the will to live.

There's a reason snooker gets slotted in on BBC Two at half past midnight — it is the televisual equivalent of a warm glass of milk. Even the commentators sound like they're fighting off sleep.

Hours of watching a peloton do essentially nothing before a chaotic sprint finish that lasts twelve seconds. The Tour de France is basically a very expensive geography lesson.

You watch a person go up the pool and then come back. Repeat for three weeks every four years. Without the Olympics to justify it, would any of us choose to sit through this voluntarily?

A sport so committed to inconclusive outcomes that it invented a format lasting nearly a week just to end in a handshake. Test cricket devotees will defend this to the death, bless them.

Nothing says 'we've run out of scheduling ideas' quite like televised crown green bowls on a Tuesday afternoon. Respectful of the elderly, yes. Good television? Absolutely not.

Every four years the Winter Olympics rolls around and suddenly everyone's an expert in the subtle art of shouting 'HARD!' at a large stone. Then it disappears for another four years and no one notices.