The way we love rarely comes from nowhere β it's shaped by the people around us long before we even start dating. From childhood to adulthood, certain figures leave a lasting mark on how we connect with others.
Put the items in your preferred order.
A parent or step-parent
Whether they modelled a loving partnership or a complicated one, parents often set the template for what we expect from relationships. For better or worse, their influence tends to run deep.
A close friend
A truly honest friend β the kind who sat with you through heartbreak and called you out on your patterns β can reshape how you see yourself in relationships entirely. Many people credit a best mate more than any therapist.
A past partner
Not every significant relationship works out, but some leave you fundamentally different β more self-aware, more cautious, or more open than you were before. That ex you never quite forget probably taught you something essential.
A grandparent
Grandparents who stayed together through decades of real life β rationing, redundancy, loss β often model a kind of quiet, committed love that feels increasingly rare. Their example can set a surprisingly high bar.
A therapist or counsellor
With NHS waiting lists and a growing openness around mental health in the UK, more people than ever have sat across from a counsellor and finally understood why they love the way they do. Sometimes it takes a stranger to show you yourself.
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Is putting an empty biscuit packet back in the cupboard grounds for divorce?
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