Who do you turn to first when the wi-fi drops or the telly goes funny?

They press three buttons, hand it back and say "it was on mute". You feel daft, but the telly works again.

They insist they know exactly what's wrong, then unplug everything and hope for the best. Sometimes it even works.

You end up spelling your postcode four times to a very cheerful voice. But at least somebody else takes the blame.

You balance the phone on the shelf and follow along, pausing every ten seconds. Weirdly satisfying when it works.

He's round in five minutes with a screwdriver he doesn't need. You'll be hearing about it for weeks.